Monday, June 1, 2009

Inappropriate? I think NOT.

So...I have this issue. When I wear dresses, which I am doing A LOT these days because they are so comfy and forgiving, my underpants ROLL down into a bunch right off my hips and into the dangerous limbo land of....will they fall off or will they not.

Last week I had finally had enough of yanking at my bunched up bottoms like a 4 year old so I went to Gap Body looking for a solution. I weaved in and out of the racks and shelves not really finding "THE ONES". However, I did see a fellow preggo. She was WAY bigger than I, probably carrying twins, and holding a few pairs of underpants in her hand. So, I decided to ask her about her underpants situation...she was pregnant...had reached critical mass like I have...and is probably experiencing the same clothing issues as I. I walked up while touching my belly to show her that I am a fellow preggo and to not be alarmed by my intrusion, and said, "I know this is sort of a personal question, but what kind of underpants work for you? Mine are always rolling off my hips and belly into a bunch and I can't seem to find a pair that works".

She looked at me with HORROR. HORROR!!!! Can you believe that?!! It's not like I asked her this question in line at Starbucks or interrupted lunch with her boss at Panera. WE WERE IN GAP BODY and she was HOLDING UNDERPANTS IN HER HAND.

She mumbled something about a maternity store and scampered off. Seriously? This conversation with a fellow pregnant woman about appropriate under garments has flustered you THIS much?

Good luck with parenthood, uptight-crazy lady. GOOD LUCK.


samantha jo campen said...

Wow. That is hilarious. And yeah, she has a lot to get over. Once you're in The Club all bets are off.

You did nothing inappropriate (for the first time ever, I think. I will have to consult my records for 100% accuracy)and she is officially a freak.

painterjoy said...

Holy crap, this is funny! Pregnant bellies just are NOT meant to wear underwear. I felt like I was trying to put undies on a slippery balloon(it was July in Burbank).
I ended up buying old fashioned Hanes 'brief' style undies that come in 5-packs at Target in ultra-huge size! Not pretty, but stayed on.

Good luck in your undie search, and good luck to crazy uptight woman for when she gives birth with the entire hospital staff looking at her hoo-ha.

Kate said...

Totally NOt inappropriate. What is her deal??

I never actually had the bunching/rolling problem - my problem was that some of my underpants were no longer covering my buttcrack. No one could actually SEE this, but damn was that uncomfortable!!

What I'm wondering though is do you think this means you are carrying low?? And could that mean BOY?!

Serenity Now said...

whatta wingnut! Found you from Samantha and had to give my two cents. The underwear thing was a pain - I usually wore maternity ones from Old Navy..major grannies, but at least they stayed on! hehe
I can't believe that lady - sheesh, I would have been tickled to talk to a fellow prego, especially about underwear!

Kira said...

LOL! What has the world come to that you can no longer ask a perfect stranger what underwear they suggest without looking like ou belong on a Dateline special! I for one would have offered you up some advise. Given the fact that pre-pregnancy I was a strict thong lover, buying full-coverage panties seemed foreign to me. I would recommend Motherhood Maternities low-rise undies, I carried low and these worked great!

Maggie said...

I totally would have talked panties with you. She is a crazy person. Maybe it was her hormones? And to put it all "out there," I agree with painterjoy...I went commando for the last 2 months. Yeah, I said it...nothing.. Talk about being inappropriate here! :) I was carrying twins people! ha ha