Thursday, February 28, 2008

Life is Good.

Exam Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 at 8:00 AM
Candidate: Kristin C.
NCLEX ID: *******
Registration #: *********
Exam: NCLEX-RN: The National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses
Grade: pass

Ummm. Oh my god.

I passed my boards.
I am speechless and crying and so emotional, I don't have the brains right now to post.

I just wanted to let you all know that I DID IT!!!!!!!!
Thanks for all of you words of encouragment, support, and good mojo.
I know it helped. I am off to yoga to shimmy all the last bits of anxiety and tension out of by body and then I'll be ready to party!


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Marc Jacobs & Emotional Eating

Laa-deee-da. Just waiting around. Just anxiously waiting to learn the results.

Life as I knew it is at a standstill. That means, no yoga or aerobic activity and a boat load of food down my pie-hole in an effort to drown out the bad feelings. Yep. You said it. I'm an emotional eater. When the going gets tough...the food gets eaten. The good thing is, since I am "on a diet" there isn't a whole lot of bad stuff in the house. So pigging out means a Caramel Brownie Luna Bar (to DIE for BTW) and a chocolate covered banana. However, I was recently released from my home this past weekend to the city where I wrassled a screaming 6 month old...and if that doesn't make you want to eat a bag of kettle corn and 10 Oreos, I don't know what does. That's why there is no weigh in this week as I'm not sure how well I would fair weight gain and the 4 lbs I've lost is easy as hell to gain back in a week, for me at least. So, next Monday we'll see what the damage is.

Back to the hell of waiting. I have been stalking the website where I can find out my results because I was told that there is a chance I could see them TONIGHT, which to me is *OMG ANY MINUTE NOW IT COULD SHOW UP! CHECK THE SITE! CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!*

It is so nice out and I know I would be way better off romping in the snow with the huskie for an hour....but I can't seem to muster up the's all being used on eating oatmeal and watching documentaries about Marc Jacobs and stalking websites and SHOWERING for work. God forbid I actually accomplish something today. Sheesh.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Learning and Growing can be hard on a girl.


I'm done with my test. In fact, it was over before I knew it..and that is not sitting well with me. I only had answered 75 questions when the computer turned off...and let me tell you...those were 75 hard-ass questions. There were a few medication questions that I was like...What? Bippity-boppity-boo? I've never even HEARD of that medication..and you're telling me now that it treats Hepatitis C and you want me to tell YOU if the dose is correct for the patient based on their hieght and weight? WTF? SERIOUSLY!?

I really had a lot of questions that I had to make "educated guesses" we shall see.
I know it's not the end of the world if I don't pass. But I am just ready for the next chapter in my life. I am ready to move on.
I honesltly felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin after finishing...but luckily I had enough time to schooch over to my yoga studio and catch a class. After Marlene rocked my world in downward dog for and hour and a half (I know this sounds sexy...but it wasn't, trust) my anxieties and fears were replaced by the feeling is what it is and I'll just roll with it. I decided I needed to replace the awful & fearful emotions with peace and respect for myself and the effort I had made. However, it's so easy to feel that way while laying on a warm wood floor in the sunlight with Eternal Om bounding through the speakers willing you to give up your's a lot harder to carry that out into the world with you.

So that's where I this place of limbo. One minute I feel peace and the next minute a pang of anxiety waves over me like a hot blanket and I feel sick. Trying. Trying. Trying.

Yoga quote of today:
"The jump is frightening between where I am and where I want to be...Because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap!"
-Mountain Dancer

Monday, February 25, 2008

Tomorrow is scaring the crap out of me.

Tomorrow morning at 8am....I am taking the biggest test of my life. The NCLEX exam. I graduated from nursing school this past December and have been studying for this day since the beginning of January after giving myself a much needed and deserved break for the Holiday season. The NCLEX exam is what determines whether or not I get my sate license and become a Registered Nurse. I know my profile says "RN"..but really I'm a "licence pending nurse" was just easier at the time.

This test is friggin' hard. It's 75 to 265 questions and can take up to 6 hours depending on how many questions you are given. Studying for this has been so hard for me...I have never been a great student. School has always been a challenge for me and this is no different. Sometimes the questions on the practice tests make me laugh out loud because they are so ridiculously difficult. I think...REALLY!? I'm supposed to know this? Because...the school I graduated from didn't think I needed to know this. Seriously...I feel so under prepared by the college I attended...I could scream. I go. Tomorrow I take the test and within 48 hours I get my results. In less than 72hours I'll know if I'm an RN...or if I have to study for 45 more days and take the exam again.

Please...send me some prayers...or good mojo...or vibes...whatever you like to call it...just send it to me. I think I'll need it.


Nevermind on that Vasectomy....for now.

Quick post to let you know I survived the weekend with the Nephew....and that Trevor has decided against the emergency vasectomy. My sister and Brother-in-law came home with laughter in their eyes, they were also sympathetic, but mostly found the entire situation humorous. Brother-in-law sensitively added that "we've got to learn sometime" how parenting really is. *Whew* That was some learning experience.

Truthfully, it was a great experience, while we were some what traumatized, and a great weekend spent finding out what we are made of.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Oh. My. God.

Trevor and I are in the city watching our almost-6 month old godson. His mom, dad, and sister are at a water park in Lake Geneva for the weekend.

We are here with Godson who is currently teething...has just started to recognize mom and dad-so he has a great new feeling called *seperation anxiety*...has horrific gas...and hasn't pooped yet today (that we know of). As a result of all of the above our normally jolly little nephew is in a foul and pissed off mood....and has been fussing all day. At 6pm I gave him a bottle which usually causes him to pass out. NOT TONIGHT. The moment I took the bottle out of his mouth and put the pacifier in, he began to SCREAM BLOODY MURDER. We had literally done everything we knew how to do...and nothing was working.

An hour later...he has finally exhausted himself and his sleeping...but not before we made two emergency-holy-crap-what-do-we-do-now calls to nephews mother and grandmother and Trevor has decieded that he will be going in to the ER for an emergency vasectomy. Those were his very words. *sigh*

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Pizza & The Ego

Behold! My new favorite lunch treat!

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Trader Joes Garlic Naan (indian flatbread), Trader Joes non-fat pizza sauce (did YOU know pizza sauce had fat? I didn't), a smidge of crumbled goat cheese, non-fat mozzerella, sauteed mushrooms, orange pepper, and onion. Place all of your desired toppings on the flatbread while still frozen, toss it into a 400 degree oven for 10 minutes and you have a crispy delicious personal sized pizza for under 300 calories!

AHHHHH!!! It's so good, I've had 3 this week and could seriously eat one a day for life. I love pizza and I L-O-V-E low calorie, gourmet pizza. I think you should drop what you are doing, go to Trader Joes and buy the goods, and then run home to experiance the joy. If you don't have a Trader Joes......I am very sorry for torturing you.

And now on to a yoga quote.

"The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you." - Eckhart Tolle

I love this quote because it reminds me that, in life, we are really only our thoughts....who we are when we are alone. Are we happy with this person? In my job I have had the privelage to be with very special people at the end of their lives...they have taught me these and so many other things about the richness of a life filled with love for ourselves and for others.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Weigh In-Week 4


Current Weight: 183
Pounds lost this week: 0 lb
Pounds to Goal Weight (150): 33.1
Total Weight Loss: 3.9 lbs ( still 12 ish sticks of butter)

So this week I am experiancing "lady troubles", if you catch my drift. This means that I did not loose weight...and this has always been the case for weight loss during the "lady week" (FYI, i don't normally call it this....but I'm new to blogging..and I don't want frighten you with TMI). Anyhow. I credit not gaining weight during this week to adding 2 days of cardiovascular excersise: 30 minutes of elliptical or treadmill at high intensity.
I know I need to keep up with cardio because yoga, while getting the heart rate up, doesn't seem like *enough* work for the ticker each week. I've tried to read up on this subject, but haven't found much out there as far as yoga vs. cardiovascular and/or weight training.
The only problem is...I'm all blissed out on yoga and now feel that the gym is a dirty, stinky, rathole in comparisson to my gloriously peaceful yoga studio. I would be so much happier if I could be outside...running, biking, walking, swimming....ANYTHING other than moving on a little conveyor belt or wildly pedaling my feet in an "elliptical formation" for 30 minutes.


I think I might be ready for Spring.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Little Ones...and The Little Things that make us happy.

We just got home after being in the city for the night, babysitting our niece (3 1/2) & nephew (6 months) for the evening. Trevor ate some Thai food that uspet his stomach so he fell asleep early..same time as the kids I just stayed up and watched the video monitor OBSESSIVLEY, watching them breath. Along with the monitor watching I would go into our nephews room every 45 minutes and check to see if he was still breathing. Jeez. Is that what parenthood is like? 'Cause I was like. "SHIT! Did he just turn his head...wait! Can he breath in that postition?! Crap!" every 3 seconds. *Sigh* At least I can feel confident that I have the skills to do CPR with half my brain missing because it's been embedded in my DNA thru becoming and EMT and RN. But was un-nerving. With that being said...I totally love watching them and would do it everyday if I could.

On our way home...I realized...WE'RE in the CITY...close to ARGO TEA, my favorite place on earth that I dream of while being forced to drink Starbucks out here in the 'burbs. So we went. I got an Earl Grey Vanilla Creme Latte. And this glorious item:


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A tea infuser! Isn't it so pretty?!
I have a bunch of loose tea but no infuser, so I'm forced to make it in my french press. I know, I'm so TORTURED in this life. But...don't like the residual tea taste that is left behind in the screen of the press. Now I have my Tovolo Infuser. Joy.

On a weight loss note, I have not weighed myself today because I wasn't home this morning and I weigh myself on Sunday mornings on my scale, with no food (or Earl Grey Lattes) in my stomach (just my own 'ritual') So, I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning and let you know. However, I feel like I've stayed the same this week. I guess we'll see.

Hope you all are enjoying this weekend. We're experiancing a major thaw. It's wet and nasty I'll be hibernating.

Friday, February 15, 2008

The View From My Front Door

Meet Sativa, our wise and lovely huskie.
She is loving this sunny day....laying in snow banks around the house & coming to the door every couple of hours for her favorite peanut butter dog treats.

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day!

Hey all...I just got back from yoga..and I feel like my legs are going to fall off. We did nine million hours of balancing poses and I have very weak feet and ankles. Also, my left foot is recovering from a break a few months all the balancing ROCKED MY WORLD. After the intensity ceased, we started to wind down into shavasana (the finishing sequence of yoga practice that harmonises your energy as you lay still with your eyes closed and relax) Marlene, my teacher, asked us to please use this time to open our hearts to the world and let love pour out for all beings. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths into my heart and then began to picture this:

Yes, I am a child of the 80's. I literally was picturing myself as the Love Care Bear, with little hearts floating up out of my chest by the thousands, floating out through the windows into the streets and popping over peoples heads, giving them my love! It was a very entertaining way to end the class, me in my little world...with hearts and bears...spreading the love!

Happy Valentines Day everyone....I hope you see some of my Care Bear hearts during your day today!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Weigh In- Week 3


Current Weight: 183
Pounds lost this week: .9 lb
Pounds to Goal Weight (150): 33.1
Total Weight Loss: 3.9 lbs (12 ish sticks of butter)

I totally know this post is late. I did weigh myself on Sunday though...and you've just seen the results above. I lost almost one more! The great thing is that with The Best Life Diet slowly easing me into my "diet" and taking yoga classes...I've not even felt inconvienanced or pained by this process. Normally working out at the gym is something I enjoy for the first month or two...and then I start to hate it. I get bored (even though I am well versed at switching things up) and I get tired of being inside the gym 5 days a week for 2-3 hours.

I feel yoga is definitly a workout but I wanted to see if I had accurately assessed the amount of work I do in class, so I went to this page and calculated with my weight and the amount of time I am actively doing yoga and I found I burn 583 calories in one class! At 5 days per week that is a LOT of calorie burning! With that I am starting to see & feel changes in my body after one month of yoga (1 & 1/2 hours per day 4-6 days per week).
My "core" is stronger, my arms & legs are stronger and more toned..and I have more energy!
This last Sunday I went to the Level 2 class (most difficult at my studio), just figuring I could change things up if I needed the poses to be easier...but I loved it! There was 20 mintues of meditation in the begininng that really gave me a run for my money, mentally. All I wanted to do after about 8 minutes was jump up a hoot & holler like a little kid! There were also some more challenging poses that I don't typically get to work on in My Level 1-2 class. I actually held the crow pose for a few breaths...and normally I can only do this pose with my head on the ground, making me into a tripod!

Today I signed up for a second month of unlimited yoga and feel so excited for the physical and mental changes to come. The great thing about yoga is that I am not focused on my body and its flaws...I am focused on my spirit and the STRENGTH of my body. I feel better about my body now than I did when I was 30lbs lighter.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Tearing up the Joint & Joints.

Last weekend Husband & I went to Devils Head Ski Resort in Wisconsin. We met up with some good friends from the past, Graham & his wife Meghan. Graham and Husband grew up skiing together on the local ski hills in IL and WI, earning their stripes trying new tricks, taking big jumps, and breaking bones through grade school and high school. Trevor remembers landing his first "heli" at Alpine Valley in WI while skiing with Graham. Then they went off to college and Trevor trekked his way out to Durango, CO where he honed his skills and Graham made sure to get out on the mountain as well, so as not to get rusty. Needless to say, their notorious dare-devil pasts flaired up when they slipped on their gear. Getting these two thirty-somthings out on the mountain together last weekend was...PURE. INSANITY. I am not even beginning to exagerrate when I say that they both were ripping up the joint....landing helis...taking huge jumps and landing them....sometimes with a thud and a moan...but actually pulling off some serious s**t! As a wife...I must say it was rather HOT watching my husband display some mad skills on those ski's. It was a weekend to remember...a great weekend spent outdoors in the snow with friends. Classic.

Below you will find a photo I took in the hotel room after a full day of body wrenching entertainment. Husband could not move from that position for the rest of the night and for the next few days he supplemented his diet with many milligrams of Advil. Please forgive the profane hand gestures....he was little cantankerous.

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Monday, February 4, 2008

Weigh In - Week 2

I am back from my weekend warrior adventure...during which I kind of ate like a wild animal...because we were on vacation, you know how it is. Despite me stuffing my face with all things delicious, I still managed to lose another pound, which equals 4 sticks of that's a lot in my book!


Current Weight: 183.9
Pounds lost this week: 1 lb
Pounds to Goal Weight (150): 34
Total Weight Loss: 3 lbs (12 sticks of butter)

Friday, February 1, 2008

Weekend Warriors , ACTIVATE!

Husband and I decided, last minute, that we're going to head up into Wisconsin to Devil's Head for the weekend! In the last 24 hours we've had around 6 inches of snow and while I don't think WI has been hit as hard..they are expecting some fresh snow fall over the weekend. So we're packing up our dusty gear, dropping the dog off at the "grandparents" and heading Up North. I tried to take my skis into our local ski shop this morning to get a tune up...but they don't do it in house! So the resident ski doctor gave me some wax to do it myself...but if I'm not precise in the application, I could end up with skis so sticky that I could WALK up the "mountain". Sooooo....we'll see how it all turns out. Worst case scenario I bust out the rental gear. Whatever.

The rest of afternoon will include packing, Trader Joe's snack food run, more packing, a frolic in the snow with the Huskie and some mellow time on the couch. I will be back on Sunday night with the results of my weigh in for the week...and maybe some pics of our Weekend Warrior adventure. Hope you all have a great weekend....skiing, ice fishing, sun-bathing (you could be in FL reading this), or hibernating!

I leave you with a yoga quote (that, to be honest, I don't completely understand. So maybe you could give me your interpritation of it. Please, enlighten me).....

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Khalil Gibran