Hey.
I'm back home. It's colder than Sanibel. When the windows are open I am blasted by cold damp air...not warm salty sandy caressing sunshine. Boo.
Also...my beautiful tan is fading...already. Hoo.
On the really awesome and positive side of things....after MONTHS of visits to the city for MD appts. at Rush and lots of medical bills, Trevor has had his surgery. The tumor has been removed...and in a shockingly glorious turn of events the final pathology report has come back NEGATIVE for cancer. HELL YES!!
When looking at the situation I feel bad that Trevor now has a golf ball size chunk excised from his thigh and a 6 inch incision. But the needle biopsy looked like cancer and if they had asked us to wait to watch the mass and biopsy it again in 6 months after they could get another tissue sample I would have saif F U!! and punched them in the noses. So...we had to go this route.
It's a relief that Trevor doesn't have ANOTHER form of cancer...and also that we won't need to fret and wonder if they got ALL of the tumor etc. Now it doesn't matter. It's out. It's not cancer. I can breath deeper. We can relax a bit and focus on our growing fetus and all the work ahead of us at our home to get ready for him/her.
Pictures from Sanibel to come soon. I don't have my regular computer so I need to wait til I can upload there in order to post them.
Now....to wake up husband from his nap and see if he wants to take me to a matinee and than a dinner of burgers. Mmmmm.....
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Ahhhh...RELIEF.
I sent an email to the in-laws (parental & sibling) these are their responses:
Mother-In-Law:
My dear sweet Kristin,
I was going to give you a bad time about your new tattoo but after Trevor told us how stressed you had been over the revelation, I just didn't have the heart to do it. However, I am going to scold you about stressing out over telling us about the tattoo....you should know by now that we love you for what you are on the inside, not the outside...and a tattoo is not going to change that. So put your mind at ease and know we have big hugs for you when you and Trevor arrive on Saturday.
By the way, we need you to email your flight information and I also need you to email the number of my transponder so I can update my account.
Start packing those bags and we will see you on Saturday (hope you can bring the little pup tent in the garage with you)
Love ya,
(mother-in-law)
Sister-In-Law:
You silly girl, you fret for nothing! We love you no matter what!!! Thank you for being so sensitive to our family, especially my little ones… and if Tessa asks about it, we’ll simply tell her that grown-ups choose to decorate their bodies in lots of different ways. She’s had fake tattoos before, so she’s familiar with the phrase. We’ll just go with the flow… I’m not concerned about it, and I certainly don’t want you to be either! We all need this break so desperately… let’s go and have fun and relax and be ourselves. After all, that’s one of things that I’ve always most admired about you… that you are always true to yourself no matter what. And that’s just as it should be, because you’re wonderful. Safe travels tomorrow – can’t wait to see you both next week!
Love to luv ya,
(sister-in-law)
Isn't that awesome? I still feel worried for them to actually SEE it....that'll be a shocker no matter what, but at least they KNOW now. I have just finished all of my Spring Break / Summer maternity clothes shopping. I got some good buys, splurged on a few things, and feel a little better about being a preggo chubsteak. Check out my Liz Lang maternity swimsuit, only $40 bucks!
Speaking of chub...I have only gained 6 lbs so far (pat on back)!!! We had our 20 week ultrasound this week (although technically I'm 21 weeks) and the baby is right on target for growth. We saw the little one yawn, practicing sucking, and grabbing at it's feet! Crazy! They sent us home with some great little pictures, when we get back I'll have Trevor scan them so I can post them.
Well...I'm off to Sanibel. I can't wait for the sand, shells, fruit, bike riding, schnappers hot dogs, swimming, and a million more things. I'll try to take lots of pictures to share....and you'll have to pretend to be happy for me.
Mother-In-Law:
My dear sweet Kristin,
I was going to give you a bad time about your new tattoo but after Trevor told us how stressed you had been over the revelation, I just didn't have the heart to do it. However, I am going to scold you about stressing out over telling us about the tattoo....you should know by now that we love you for what you are on the inside, not the outside...and a tattoo is not going to change that. So put your mind at ease and know we have big hugs for you when you and Trevor arrive on Saturday.
By the way, we need you to email your flight information and I also need you to email the number of my transponder so I can update my account.
Start packing those bags and we will see you on Saturday (hope you can bring the little pup tent in the garage with you)
Love ya,
(mother-in-law)
Sister-In-Law:
You silly girl, you fret for nothing! We love you no matter what!!! Thank you for being so sensitive to our family, especially my little ones… and if Tessa asks about it, we’ll simply tell her that grown-ups choose to decorate their bodies in lots of different ways. She’s had fake tattoos before, so she’s familiar with the phrase. We’ll just go with the flow… I’m not concerned about it, and I certainly don’t want you to be either! We all need this break so desperately… let’s go and have fun and relax and be ourselves. After all, that’s one of things that I’ve always most admired about you… that you are always true to yourself no matter what. And that’s just as it should be, because you’re wonderful. Safe travels tomorrow – can’t wait to see you both next week!
Love to luv ya,
(sister-in-law)
Isn't that awesome? I still feel worried for them to actually SEE it....that'll be a shocker no matter what, but at least they KNOW now. I have just finished all of my Spring Break / Summer maternity clothes shopping. I got some good buys, splurged on a few things, and feel a little better about being a preggo chubsteak. Check out my Liz Lang maternity swimsuit, only $40 bucks!
Speaking of chub...I have only gained 6 lbs so far (pat on back)!!! We had our 20 week ultrasound this week (although technically I'm 21 weeks) and the baby is right on target for growth. We saw the little one yawn, practicing sucking, and grabbing at it's feet! Crazy! They sent us home with some great little pictures, when we get back I'll have Trevor scan them so I can post them.
Well...I'm off to Sanibel. I can't wait for the sand, shells, fruit, bike riding, schnappers hot dogs, swimming, and a million more things. I'll try to take lots of pictures to share....and you'll have to pretend to be happy for me.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Fear of My Mother-In-Law On The Sandy Beaches Of Sanibel Island
In 5 days we leave for a well deserved vacation on Sanibel Island, FL where Trevor's parents have a house...and where they are also currently living....as it is winter nd they are lucky ducks.
Trevor's sister, brother in-law, and our niece and nephew will also be there vacationing with us. Sounds like an awesome family get away, right?
Believe it or not, I am DREADING our first day with them. Why? Well....because since the last time they say me in a short sleeved T-shirt I started my half sleeve tattoo....
It's something I have wanted for a long time. I put a lot of thought into it, I thought about my parents, Trevor's parents, our future kids, aging, the children's weddings (what will I wear so that I won't be the crazy Mom with her huge tattoo all over the place), and a million other things. Ultimately my husband was psyched about it, I was psyched about it and I decided to take the leap.
Obviously it's not finished and that's because after my 3rd session I found out that I was pregnant! YEAH! But BOO!! for finishing my tattoo! Now I'll be waiting until this fall or beyond to see the final product. See, my INTENTION was to show it too them all AFTER it was complete, not that they would recoil in horror any less, but at least they'd be getting the final product. After that plan was foiled be the fetus, I began planning on showing them before they left for FL. But there was never a good time...I would be on the verge of telling them...the words would be on the tip of my tongue...my hand on my sleeve to pull it up and reveal...AAAAAND then I would chicken.
NOW. NOW, I am their pregnant daughter in law with a huge tattoo. They are going to DIE. It would be one thing if we weren't going to be frolicking around in our bathing suits for a week straight...BUT WE ARE. Sigh. I am just dreading this whole thing. I wish in the moment when they finally do see it I could blurt out all of the things that I thought about when making the decision to get this...that I thought of them and that they were LITERALLY the ONLY reason I felt nervous to get it.
My own parents will have to love me forever and the accept me for me, and they know who I am, they GET me, I was never worried about their, or anyone else's opinion.
All I can think of is when Trevor showed his Mom the beginnings of his full sleeve tattoo and all she said was, "It's SO BIG" with this look of disappointment on her face. My husband thinks they'll be fine, and actually finds humor in my nervous-first-day-of-school-tummy over this whole thing. He just doesn't get it....and I have seriously thought of not going because of it, isn't that ridiculous!!?!?!??!
So...what do you think. Should I bust out an email to them before we get down there or should I just show up in a short sleeved shirt and have his mother faint in the airport?
Please advise.
Trevor's sister, brother in-law, and our niece and nephew will also be there vacationing with us. Sounds like an awesome family get away, right?
Believe it or not, I am DREADING our first day with them. Why? Well....because since the last time they say me in a short sleeved T-shirt I started my half sleeve tattoo....
It's something I have wanted for a long time. I put a lot of thought into it, I thought about my parents, Trevor's parents, our future kids, aging, the children's weddings (what will I wear so that I won't be the crazy Mom with her huge tattoo all over the place), and a million other things. Ultimately my husband was psyched about it, I was psyched about it and I decided to take the leap.
Obviously it's not finished and that's because after my 3rd session I found out that I was pregnant! YEAH! But BOO!! for finishing my tattoo! Now I'll be waiting until this fall or beyond to see the final product. See, my INTENTION was to show it too them all AFTER it was complete, not that they would recoil in horror any less, but at least they'd be getting the final product. After that plan was foiled be the fetus, I began planning on showing them before they left for FL. But there was never a good time...I would be on the verge of telling them...the words would be on the tip of my tongue...my hand on my sleeve to pull it up and reveal...AAAAAND then I would chicken.
NOW. NOW, I am their pregnant daughter in law with a huge tattoo. They are going to DIE. It would be one thing if we weren't going to be frolicking around in our bathing suits for a week straight...BUT WE ARE. Sigh. I am just dreading this whole thing. I wish in the moment when they finally do see it I could blurt out all of the things that I thought about when making the decision to get this...that I thought of them and that they were LITERALLY the ONLY reason I felt nervous to get it.
My own parents will have to love me forever and the accept me for me, and they know who I am, they GET me, I was never worried about their, or anyone else's opinion.
All I can think of is when Trevor showed his Mom the beginnings of his full sleeve tattoo and all she said was, "It's SO BIG" with this look of disappointment on her face. My husband thinks they'll be fine, and actually finds humor in my nervous-first-day-of-school-tummy over this whole thing. He just doesn't get it....and I have seriously thought of not going because of it, isn't that ridiculous!!?!?!??!
So...what do you think. Should I bust out an email to them before we get down there or should I just show up in a short sleeved shirt and have his mother faint in the airport?
Please advise.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Some news....
Soooo....
I thought I'd share with you something we, as a little family of two + fetus, have been trying to juggle over the last two months.
As some of you may or may not know, Trevor has had cancer twice in his short 33 years. He is a ticking time bomb...cancer, falling off of balconies....this guy has nine lives.
Since before his first diagnosis with lymphoma 10 years ago he has had night sweats, which were associated with the growing cancer. After receiving radiation and chemotherapy he continued with the night sweats on a fairly regular basis. A lovely little souvenir from the big C. In the last year his night sweats have gotten worse and worse, they happen nightly...sometimes twice a night. Poor Trevor travels from bed to bed to couch just trying to catch a break and get a good nights sleep. As an oncology RN who works at the hospital where my husbands oncologist, Dr. T, has privileges I have a great perk that allows me to talk to him about any concerns, free of charge, as I please. So...last fall I started to mention Trevor's worsening night sweats. Dr. T blamed them on Trevor's diabetes...maybe low blood sugar at night? So, I tested his blood sugar at random times during the night and when he had sweats....the results were normal.
Blah blah blah, fast froward to December when I finally told Dr. T that the sweats WERE NOT related to Trevor's blood sugar or anything else. So he ordered a CT scan of Trevor's chest, abdomen, and pelvis. This showed a spot in Trevor's small bowel. So Dr. T ordered a PET scan....this did nit light up the spot in Trevor's small bowel But it DID light up a spot in his left thigh. I just thought it was a fluke related more to his big 3 story fall in July....but to be safe we pushed on. A CT of the thigh was ordered and then an MRI...the spot was still there. So a consult with an Orthopedic Oncologist at Rush in the city (Chicago) was ordered. Then a biopsy..and then we were told that it is, in fact, cancer!
A big relief is that it is not a recurrence of lymphoma, but a low grade sarcoma. The tumor is SO small and will only need to be surgically removed with no radiation or chemo. The Orthopedic Oncologist we are seeing is #1 in IL for treating these types of tumors, and #6 in the country. He literally sees and removes hundreds of them a year. Next week we will go back to Rush for an ultrasound to see if they can locate it that way because it is so small and will be hard for the Ortho. Onc. to locate with just the eye in the operating room.
Trevor is super lucky. I actually have had several patients recently with sarcomas in their thighs...and they were in rough shape because these tumors normally aren't found until they are much larger and present with more symptoms. Usually resulting in more invasive treatments.
Since December we've been playing a waiting game and holding our breath in anticipation of the next round of test results. We finally have a solid concrete answer and one that isn't so scary. To those who knew about this the whole time...thank you so much for your kind words and prayers.
To those people in my life who didn't know....I'm sorry that you are finding out this way. I just finally felt like writing about it and am feeling a little tired of updating family every other day with new info and having to look at worried faces all the time. Sometimes I'm not good at dealing with peoples responses to news like this. Some people have that sad look of pity...some people freak out and say things like, OH MY GOD THAT'S HORRIBLE. Some people just listen and give hugs, and that's best.
So...Internet friends, thanks for listening. Have a great night...maybe give your families a bigger and longer squeeze than normal. I think Trevor is getting sick of all of my big gooey hugs.
I thought I'd share with you something we, as a little family of two + fetus, have been trying to juggle over the last two months.
As some of you may or may not know, Trevor has had cancer twice in his short 33 years. He is a ticking time bomb...cancer, falling off of balconies....this guy has nine lives.
Since before his first diagnosis with lymphoma 10 years ago he has had night sweats, which were associated with the growing cancer. After receiving radiation and chemotherapy he continued with the night sweats on a fairly regular basis. A lovely little souvenir from the big C. In the last year his night sweats have gotten worse and worse, they happen nightly...sometimes twice a night. Poor Trevor travels from bed to bed to couch just trying to catch a break and get a good nights sleep. As an oncology RN who works at the hospital where my husbands oncologist, Dr. T, has privileges I have a great perk that allows me to talk to him about any concerns, free of charge, as I please. So...last fall I started to mention Trevor's worsening night sweats. Dr. T blamed them on Trevor's diabetes...maybe low blood sugar at night? So, I tested his blood sugar at random times during the night and when he had sweats....the results were normal.
Blah blah blah, fast froward to December when I finally told Dr. T that the sweats WERE NOT related to Trevor's blood sugar or anything else. So he ordered a CT scan of Trevor's chest, abdomen, and pelvis. This showed a spot in Trevor's small bowel. So Dr. T ordered a PET scan....this did nit light up the spot in Trevor's small bowel But it DID light up a spot in his left thigh. I just thought it was a fluke related more to his big 3 story fall in July....but to be safe we pushed on. A CT of the thigh was ordered and then an MRI...the spot was still there. So a consult with an Orthopedic Oncologist at Rush in the city (Chicago) was ordered. Then a biopsy..and then we were told that it is, in fact, cancer!
A big relief is that it is not a recurrence of lymphoma, but a low grade sarcoma. The tumor is SO small and will only need to be surgically removed with no radiation or chemo. The Orthopedic Oncologist we are seeing is #1 in IL for treating these types of tumors, and #6 in the country. He literally sees and removes hundreds of them a year. Next week we will go back to Rush for an ultrasound to see if they can locate it that way because it is so small and will be hard for the Ortho. Onc. to locate with just the eye in the operating room.
Trevor is super lucky. I actually have had several patients recently with sarcomas in their thighs...and they were in rough shape because these tumors normally aren't found until they are much larger and present with more symptoms. Usually resulting in more invasive treatments.
Since December we've been playing a waiting game and holding our breath in anticipation of the next round of test results. We finally have a solid concrete answer and one that isn't so scary. To those who knew about this the whole time...thank you so much for your kind words and prayers.
To those people in my life who didn't know....I'm sorry that you are finding out this way. I just finally felt like writing about it and am feeling a little tired of updating family every other day with new info and having to look at worried faces all the time. Sometimes I'm not good at dealing with peoples responses to news like this. Some people have that sad look of pity...some people freak out and say things like, OH MY GOD THAT'S HORRIBLE. Some people just listen and give hugs, and that's best.
So...Internet friends, thanks for listening. Have a great night...maybe give your families a bigger and longer squeeze than normal. I think Trevor is getting sick of all of my big gooey hugs.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Another Topic Monopolizing My Brain....
NOW all I can think about is money money money money money money.
Our budget, money in, money out, ways to save, trying not to shop....which is so HARD. That is our biggest issue, when we want something we just go and buy it. When we want to eat out we do. The two of us are a BAD combo because we don't keep each other in check.
We need more in savings...and I want to organize our spending and try to spend like we will when the baby is here and put the "baby" money over the next 5 months in savings for when the baby is actually here.
Another issue is that my husband works on comission. He has a nice base salary but we count on a certain amount of comission each month. It's hard to work on a budget when you don't know exactly how much money your working with.
Ugh. The good thing is...we BOTH have jobs. I know we are lucky to have this in our economy.
My question for you is...do any of you have a reccomendation for a good book on finances?
Our budget, money in, money out, ways to save, trying not to shop....which is so HARD. That is our biggest issue, when we want something we just go and buy it. When we want to eat out we do. The two of us are a BAD combo because we don't keep each other in check.
We need more in savings...and I want to organize our spending and try to spend like we will when the baby is here and put the "baby" money over the next 5 months in savings for when the baby is actually here.
Another issue is that my husband works on comission. He has a nice base salary but we count on a certain amount of comission each month. It's hard to work on a budget when you don't know exactly how much money your working with.
Ugh. The good thing is...we BOTH have jobs. I know we are lucky to have this in our economy.
My question for you is...do any of you have a reccomendation for a good book on finances?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Gahh.
I keep wanting to write a new post...but all I have on my mind is babybabybabybabybabyyyyyyyyyyyy. I don't want to BORE the crap out the few folks who read this blog that aren't a parent or expecting. But I'm telling you...that is HARD. I just can't think of much else!
I can't stop thinking about the fact that I am pregnant and that there is a baby in my belly ready to come live with us in less that 6 months. What is with THAT?!?!?! I need at LEAST another 9 months before I am going to feel prepared. Can you tell I'm a procrastinator?
The GOOD thing is that in the last 2 weeks I have become more excited about being pregnant and becoming a mama and less terrified by the whole idea. Also, I don't feel completely exhausted all the time and I'm able to do more than eat, sleep, and go to work.
So...sorry if I have put you to sleep with my brief blurb on whats up over here at OTOP....as soon as I have something NON-BABY to say I'll post it!
I can't stop thinking about the fact that I am pregnant and that there is a baby in my belly ready to come live with us in less that 6 months. What is with THAT?!?!?! I need at LEAST another 9 months before I am going to feel prepared. Can you tell I'm a procrastinator?
The GOOD thing is that in the last 2 weeks I have become more excited about being pregnant and becoming a mama and less terrified by the whole idea. Also, I don't feel completely exhausted all the time and I'm able to do more than eat, sleep, and go to work.
So...sorry if I have put you to sleep with my brief blurb on whats up over here at OTOP....as soon as I have something NON-BABY to say I'll post it!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
VS.
Sooooo...we ALL know I was trying to lose weight BEFORE I got pregnant. I had just jumped back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon right around the time we (unknowingly) conceived. I was seeing success and feeling great and then I found out I was pregnant. Since then I have been watching my diet but not depriving myself and keeping up with my workout schedule of 3-4 times per week. So far in the last 14 weeks of pregnancy I have gained only 2 lbs. I think this is pretty good....I don't know how I compare to others, I may be right on the mark. But I was expecting to blow up like an elephant, and on top of the weight gain I STILL fit in my regular pants! This too may be normal but I had visions of me rolling around like Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!
The point of this post in a non-sensical,round about way is to tell you about this issue I am having: MY scale vs the OBGYN scale. I own an OFFICIAL Weight Watchers scale...the nicest scale I have ever owned. When I weigh myself on this scale the number it produces nearly matches EXACTLY the number on the scale I was weighed on at my WW meetings. Imagine my horror when I walked into the OBGYN for the first time and it is seriously SIX pounds higher than my home scale (& the WW meeting scale!)!!!
I don't know why this bothers me SO MUCH but it kills me every time they weigh me on that devil bitch scale.
The point of this post in a non-sensical,round about way is to tell you about this issue I am having: MY scale vs the OBGYN scale. I own an OFFICIAL Weight Watchers scale...the nicest scale I have ever owned. When I weigh myself on this scale the number it produces nearly matches EXACTLY the number on the scale I was weighed on at my WW meetings. Imagine my horror when I walked into the OBGYN for the first time and it is seriously SIX pounds higher than my home scale (& the WW meeting scale!)!!!
I don't know why this bothers me SO MUCH but it kills me every time they weigh me on that devil bitch scale.
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