Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I used to be an Athlete.

This is going to be short and sweet because I have NOT STOPPED SINCE 7AM.

I used to be and athlete. So strong....with lots of muscle. I loved my muscles. Especially my calves. I ran in the mountains, climbed rock faces, biked logging roads through the ponderosa pines. Completed two marathons in Alaska. I had endurance.
I felt so good. I even liked my body...

Now. Now....holy shit. I am overweight. Like 60 lbs overweight and it's not all from the baby. Only about 10-15 lbs is left over from that.
I feel weak. Slow. Sluggish. Gross. FAT FAT FAT.
I can't do shit.

Today this former marathon runner started the Couch to 5K running program. In the dark. Because I'm to embarrassed by my body. Don't want people to see me lumbering through the streets. My knees hurt, my calves burned. I felt like I was carrying a 7 year old on my back. My fat exterior floated up and down around my weakened muscles. Like sausage casing.

After the first minute of running I almost started to cry. I almost turned back.

But I didn't. I kept going. I pounded the pavement in the dark. A shadow under the street lamps of my little town. Wearing my industrial strength sports bra made in Germany. I finished.

Workout 1 complete. Two more months left and 23 workouts left until my 5K. The Lincolnwood Turkey Trot.

After my run tonight....I gave up my last caramel filled, espresso cream cheese topped, dulce de leche birthday cupcake to my husband.

It's the end of an era....I hope.


Kate said...

You go girl!! I know this feeling all too well. I look back at pictures of myself from just a few years ago and think, damn, I looked good. What happened to me? And my weight gain isn't all from the baby either. God can I relate. But you did it. You started and I think that is the biggest obstacle. So good for you! You can do this. You will do this. And you are going to feel so good afterwards! Here's to regaining our once athletic bodies! I'm on the sideline rooting you on!!!

Jen the Trephinist said...


I got back into shape as a former distance runner who could barely climb a set of stairs without wheezing. It felt SO good and it can be done! Hang in there!