Monday, May 26, 2008

Oops, I crapped my pants! (old SNL skit.....anyone?)

I'm totally shitting my pants right now.

I was fine until about 10 minutes ago when I came to the true realization that I am going to be on the floor tomorrow as a nurse BY MYSELF. I won't have my preceptor at my beckon call to help me when I am feeling overwhelmed by my patient load. I won't have someone right next to me to bounce ideas off of or ask stupid questions of. I am ON MY OWN. Tomorrow is that day that I have worked towards for so long and it is giving me diarrhea.

Damn.

Also, now that I am on 12 hour days 3x/week I can finally get back into my normal yoga and workout routine. It has been such a struggle to find the time and energy to devote to my personal fitness goals. My body is in misery.

Here is a list I wrote tonight thinking about why it is important to eat right and exercise regularly:
1) Prevent Diabetes, Stroke, Heart Disease, Hypertension, High Cholesterol, Cancer, & Kidney Disease. All things that come with the territory of being overweight.

2) Increase my energy level and release stress and tension, in turn decreasing my risk of stress related physiologic changes

3) Be a better example for my patients and future children

4) Increase fertility

5) Improve my self image

Back to being scared. My God. I am so nervous right now.
I know I can do it. I'm just friggin' terrified.

3 comments:

paintrly1 said...

Oh, dear! I feel for you. I am not sure I could handle it! But I bet that after one day of being on your own, you will see that you can do it, and all the rest of the days will get easier.

12 hour days seem punitive to me, but luckily, if you love your work, it is not punitive and hopefully fun. And 3 days a week - awesome!

Good luck! Be well!

Kate said...

Oh, I'd be shitting my pants right now too. But you will be fine, really, you will. Give it a week and you'll be wondering what you were ever worried about :)

Good luck!

Marie Green said...

so.... how did it go? I'm sure you were a supa-star! =)